


The Great Nick Carraway and his Love Life

by TenderHeartedSnail



Category: The Great Gatsby (2013)
Genre: Gay Nick Carraway, Happy Ending, M/M, Mild Gore, Nick Carraway - Freeform, PTSD, Sad Ending, The Great Gatsby - Freeform, Two Endings, first fic in a while, jay gatsby - Freeform, well its not that mild at all actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:14:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27695405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenderHeartedSnail/pseuds/TenderHeartedSnail
Summary: Putting aside his feelings, Nick Carraway invites his cousin Daisy over for tea as a favor for the love of his life. You see, Gatsby is head over heels for the women. They hadn't seen each other in years and yet the man was still in love with her. Carraway would do anything for Gatsby even if it meant hurting himself for the man.
Relationships: Nick Carraway & Jay Gatsby
Kudos: 5





	1. Main Story Line

**Author's Note:**

> First time I've written a fic in a while so pls be nice :)

The small cottage-esque home was bustling with activity. Everywhere Nick Carraway looked there were flowers. Gatsby’s servants had brought in many assorted pastries, all of which appeared to be much fancier than the six little cakes Carraway had purchased. The front yard was being picked and pruned to perfection. Everything was just about set for Daisy’s arrival.  
Gatsby seemed to be terrified, anxious and excited all at the same time. Carraway, on the other hand, was sick to his stomach. Was he going to whisk the love of his life into his cousin’s arms? Well, he had no choice. Being homosexual was just not acceptable. What was he to do? Profess his undying love for Gatsby in front of Daisy?  
Of course not. They were just not meant to be. No matter how hard it was for Carraway, he could never be with a man, especially not Jay Gatsby. Carraway had met many homosexuals in the party scene. It never bothered him in the slightest. That is until he met Gatsby. His love for the man had just about consumed Carraway. Everything he did was just too perfect, not to mention how stunning he was. Thinking of such things disgusted him.  
“Is it too much?” Gatsby had snuck up behind Carraway while he was pondering his thoughts. It seemed he had been gazing upon the same flower arrangement for ages.  
“Just perfect, my friend,” he responded, hesitating slightly.  
It had been raining for hours. Carraway recalled Gatsby had read in the paper that it would be stopping around four, which happened to be when Daisy was to arrive. Sadly, just thinking of his cousin was sickening.  
It was two until four, and yet no sign of Daisy. Gatsby was growing more and more nervous with each tick of the clock. The possibility of her not arriving at all was near preposterous, but Carraway was hoping for it. It could be his opportunity to console his friend, and perhaps pour his feelings upon the man.  
“She is not coming, is she?” Gatsby spoke softly, “Are you positive she got the invite?”  
“Positive, she will come.” Carraway was both reassuring himself and his friend. What was he to do if she didn’t show?  
The tick tick tick of the clock continued. Both men were anxious and afraid of the outcome, Carraway feared she would show, and Gatsby if she didn’t. Time crept on in silence.  
One past four.  
Then five.  
Then ten.  
“It’s half past four, Nick she isn’t coming! The only person I will ever love isn’t coming.” He seemed angry at first, but the look on his face told Carraway something different.  
His friend was sad. No, more than just sad; Gatsby was depressed, angry, and frustrated, all of which Carraway felt as well. Gatsby was right, he would only ever love Daisy. Carraway felt his heart in his throat, his eyes water, and his stomach turn. He couldn’t cry in front of the love of his life. Again, Carraway thought, what was he to do.  
“My friend, what’s the matter? You have grown pale, are you feeling alright?” Gatsby seemed to be concerned for Carraway. A thought such as this was preposterous!  
“I-I have something I must tell you, dear friend,” he spoke with choked words.  
“I should be the one crying! I’ve lost my love forever,” he spoke without even hearing Carraway, “Now, what is it?”  
Nick Carraway was an honest man. Seemingly too honest in situations such as these. Shall he profess his love or make up a lie? He was unsure. Carraway was deep in thought when he felt a warmth next to him on the sofa. He dared not to look up in fear of Gatsby’s expression. They sat in silence, both men wishing for it to break, but neither wanting to be the one to break it.  
Gatsby spoke first:  
“Whatever it is that is making you feel so deeply, you must tell me, my friend.” His words were soft and gentle as if he were talking to a frightened animal.  
“I-I need to tell you something about myself that I am struggling to say. It may take me some time, but all I ask is that you are patient with me,” Carraway spoke softly as well, “When I was a young boy, my father told me something. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.” In consequence, I’m inclined to reserve all judgment. This has led me to explore many things, most of which were not very enjoyable,” he hesitated, “One day, though, a man at a party back home complimented me. Now, these parties were not near as extravagant as yours, though they were near as exciting. The man invited me into a room in the back, and the rest is history. He and I had a secret affair behind the backs of those we loved. We thought we would be together forever, but things never go as planned.  
“We were only together for less than a year when our families found out. They didn’t understand our love, so my father sent me here to work in the bonds business. He yelled and screamed and beat me half to death, during which I realized I could never love another man.”  
He paused again, choosing his words carefully. He was utterly unprepared for the outcome, neither positive nor negative. There was so much to say with so little time. Carraway had thought he was prepared for such a situation as he had been going over this exact moment countless times.  
“Well, my friend, this does not change my opinion of you at all whatsoever! In fact I-”  
“You speak too soon, I am not yet finished,” Carraway took a deep breath, “I never thought I would be my true self again. That is, until recently. I didn’t know much about New York until I moved here. Everyone is quite accepting of one another. I met several queers at your parties and various others as well, all of which seemed to be much happier than myself. I have always been privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men. You, Gatsby. You are who I have always wondered about. You are who I have always wanted in my life as more than just a dear friend.”


	2. Ending 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy ending :)

Finally. Carraway professed, if not his love, then his great fancy for the Jay Gatsby. He heard the man shift slightly and dared to look over, but what he saw shocked him.   
Gatsby was crying, all be it silently, the tears were high in quantity. His mouth was agape as if he had words on his tongue he was not yet ready to say. The room was still, the flowers moved not in fear they would disturb the quintessence, the rain had ceased; all was silent yet the sound of Carraway’s heart seemingly filled the room. 

“I-,” Gatsby tried to speak, but his words got caught in his throat, “I never knew,” he gave the third attempt, this time successful, “I never knew you felt such a way about me, for if I did I would never ask a favor such as this of you. You see, I too had a lover, a man, when I was in the army. At first, he was only a distraction from the tiresome war, but as we went on it grew to something more. This was before I met your cousin, I dare not speak her name at this moment. He was the love of my life, at the time. Sadly he was shot down in front of me. I held him as he took his last breaths. I too vowed never to love a man again as the heartache of losing him was ever so painful,” he paused, but only for the briefest of moments, “ We had planned a life together, to adopt an orphaned child and not hide our love from anybody, for during the war we had to hide our true selves. Just like you.  
“I met Daisy after this affair. She distracted me from my pain and I fell for her. Before I kissed her, I thought to myself, that it would essentially wed us forever. Do you believe in signs, Mr. Carraway?” Not leaving room for a response, he continued, “I do. Your cousin not showing this afternoon is a sign that she and I are not meant to be. You see, I built my life around this woman. I was born penniless. I left my parents without a word when I was quite young. At this moment that is beside the point. My life story will be saved for another time. The here and now have never been what I focus on. Here and now is what is important. My dear, dear friend, I am not sure how to say this, and yet I know it in my heart that we, you and I, would be just stupendous.”  
“Jay Gatsby, you are quite the enigma.”  
“As are you, Nick Carraway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, if you read this one first then good luck with the next one lol


	3. Ending 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad ending time!!

Finally. Carraway professed, if not his love, then his great fancy for the Jay Gatsby. He felt a shift of weight beside him and he dared to look over, but what he saw made his heart stop.  
The look on Gatsby’s face told it all; the man was furious. He was standing now, pacing around with his hands in his hair, absolutely aggravated. He walked up to where Carraway was seated. Nick stood quickly, then time stopped. Before he knew it, there was a brute fist in his face.   
Carraway stumbled back slumping onto the couch suddenly, not quite sure what had happened or why. Everything was muffled, his ears ringing. Gatsby was on top of him now, punch after punch thrown.   
“Please Jay,” Carraway said between violent hits, “Please my friend, find it in your heart to forgive me!”  
But Jay Gatsby wouldn’t relent. He was screaming profanities now, calling the man a queer every so often. It felt like what seemed like hours, but it never stopped. Carraway kept his gaze set on the man who would seemingly end his life. The shouting grew softer and softer until Nick Carraway blacked out, eyes wide open.

From the perspective of Jay Gatsby  
I hit and hit and hit. Why would a man love me? A man such as Nick Carraway? And he dared to beg forgiveness? No man would love me, much less be sorry for it. Why no one at all loved me. I screamed and beat the man until I couldn’t anymore; until I realized the man in front of me had stopped blinking and struggling. I sat back and looked at the bloody mess of a man next to me.   
I reached over and felt for a pulse. Nothing. I felt awful. I began to cry. Not just cry but absolutely sob. I didn’t want to kill the man, just rough him up a little, but my emotions got the best of me. I felt unlovable and the fact that anyone would ever think of loving me was just too preposterous. I couldn’t bear the sight of a man I had just killed. He was gone. The only man who truly loved me was gone. Forever.  
I went to the kitchen. I grabbed a knife and headed towards the bathroom. I looked at the one true friend I had in this world one last time. His face was smashed in, blood appeared to be coming out his ears, his eyes wide open in horror. They were not the eyes of the man I knew. No, these eyes were cold and devoid of life. Carraway’s eyes were lively and full of wonder; the wonder of the grief of wild, unknown men.   
I couldn’t bare the sight any longer. I continued my endless journey to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, it was the cleanest thing I had ever seen, but the man I saw was dirty. Filthy. I took the knife in my hand and held it to my neck and pressed hard, so hard. I sliced. Deep. I felt no pain as the blood gushed over the pristine bathroom as I fell to the floor. I fell hard and fast, but my vision was already blurring.   
My last, blurry sight was blood pooling around my head.

Epilogue  
Two men were found dead in a small cottage-Esque home built between two grand mansions. The first body was found in the living area, seemingly beat to death by the other, who was found in the bathroom with his throat slit upon his own volition.   
The bodies were discovered by the first man’s rich second cousin, once removed. She had been late to lunch with her cousin and happened upon the scene when her knocks went unanswered. She had opened the door and called for somebody, anybody. All had been silent, she told police, not a sound in the house.   
She continued through into the living area, unaware of the gruesome scene that lye in her path. When she saw the body, she screamed desperately. The man’s nose had been smashed in with the rest of his face, blood everywhere. She hardly recognized the man. It looked recent, the police report added.   
Running to the bathroom, she saw the light was on. She shoved the door open and before her was a man she loved ever so deeply. He was laying in a pool of his blood, his throat sliced open to the point she could see the muscles beneath where skin should be. For the second time that night, she screamed, fainting shortly after.  
When the women came too, she was at home in different clothes. She had hoped it to all have been a dream, but that was wishful thinking. Her mind would have never come up with such a disgusting scene. She ran out of the house in her pajamas. She ran and ran until she hit the main road. She then proceeded to run into the street.   
She threw herself into the busy street, body crushed under a large truck. Her abdomen hit a wheel, causing her innards to spill out. Her head hit the other front wheel, her skull was crushed, brains mashed to a pulp. Blood filled the street lane. Cars screeched to a halt, causing a pile-up. No one expected such a thing to happen.  
Three people’s lives cut short due to the same traffic her scattered remains now lay.

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend reading the sad ending first, so skip to chapter 3 for that but if you wanna read it in the order it was written then go ahead n continue to chapter 2, the happy ending :)


End file.
